Sunday, March 15, 2009

A rant from me....


"She saw herself reflected in the store window and then the sun changed and she disappeared and all she could see was her eyes and she remembered thinking "I would make a very nice floor lamp" and that was the day she decided to quit her job."  - Story People 

Well, this applies to me in a different way, I've never brought out my past, but since some people don't seem to be able to get past it... I'm going to fight fire with fire. First, this "story" is so important to me, I married young, we were young and stupid. I admit it, it was stupid, I pray that my children get to "live" before they decide to settle down. I felt like I was disappearing, I was supporting a husband while he went to school and got his degree to teach.... therefore I was the breadwinner. I was the keeper of the house, the one who worked, two jobs I might add, I taught dancing in the evenings and I also had a job at a local department store. I was just there... going through the motions, I wasn't happy, he could not have been happy. We split after being married for 2 and a half years... water under the bridge you say, it's been 13 years since our divorce, we have both moved on, remarried, have children of our own.  I married and moved away, when my husband was medically retired from the military the logical place to come was Park Hills, it's cheap, we lived with my mother for a period while he found employment, we had twins that were 2 and a half and no place to go. So we came back, the shit (excuse my french) hit the fan. Then, we all decided to grow up (after the girls turned 5 and entered kindergarten) and played nice amongst each other. The girls became friends with their youngest, one of my girls have always been in their youngest class,  they played on the same tee- ball team, they went to their house for a sleep over, birthday parties, etc. I was and still am fine with her.... I have no problem with her, she was the bigger person and made the first step in "mending the fences so to speak" she came to me and said "the girls will be in school until graduation, we need to be able to do this" and I agreed and things were GREAT.She is wonderful with my girls. Him... well he  still,  and I say "he"  still has  not moved past it. He won't look me in the eye, why... ask him. I have no problems with him, I have no ill will, or should I say "had" no ill will until this weekend. We have some very good friends and I'm not going to throw them under the bus, but it needs to be known that we live in a small town and people talk and things get back to others. He made a comment at a FUNERAL... a FUNERAL of all places of a teacher that recently passed away, I suppose he was giving a eulogy and decided to use it as a soap box, a platform, etc. and made it  known that he was a christian, YADDA YADDA but could go no higher in the church because of his divorce, his past mistake (yes it was a mistake, on both of our parts) Why do I have a problem with this? Hmm... I feel like it was a very selfish act from someone proclaiming to be a christian. I get tired of people being holier than thou... acting like they do no wrong, they are without sin, we all sin, every day, every one of us. I feel like this was not the platform to do this, it is NO ONE'S business why he can not advance in the church, she should be mad at him for drudging it up.... you know that everyone sitting in that field house that day knew who he was talking about, this is a small town and people know me, they know him, they knew "us" So this is just a little shout out to watch what you say in a small town, things get around. 
I'm sorry to put this on here, I really had to get this off of my chest. Honestly last night when our good friends told me I was fine, but I have just thought about it more and more as the day wore on and I feel like I have a scarlet "A" on my chest and it is not his place to put it there. 
Yes, we live in this small town side by side, our children are friends, our children know that we were married before, but do we really need to use a funeral as a platform to blame for not being able to move up in the church? I especially don't like being talked about when I'm not there to defend myself and one more thing.... "Eat your heart out" because like a fine wine I have improved with age baby.... 


5 comments:

Follick Photography said...

you rock girl, one for sharing the story and your feelings, but two for knowing that you have matured and grown. small towns are wonderful (i think) but that small town gossip can be rough sometimes. just hold your head up, if people really know YOU, i dont see how they could think anything bad toward you. If anything, they are probably ALL thinking exactly the way you are about his actions.

Emily said...

*muah* to you my love... :)
I knew you were my girl for some reason. :D

dazed and confused said...

12 years of marriage and 5 years of living back at this small, speck on the map, town and you would think everyone living here and grew up here would have moved on. No, not moved out but moved on. There is alot to say when you are an outsider looking in; however, when the past is the past and you are no part of that process their really isn't much to say 'UNTIL' one crosses the line and brings the past into the present and forces the issue by involving not just the past individual but now four new people. One may speak about a past partner with or without respect and have just enough rope to hang themselves but when the past partner has moved on and has found the loving side of happiness and left their distorted memories behind leave it be. One may not like the out come of the future.

Sheep's clothing is quickly removed and obviously doesn't matter in this instance since the lad laid it out on the table. The best advice that I can give to anyone who reads this is

one
"HELL HAVE NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED"

second
Never mess or speak about another man's wife unless you are friends with that man. You best be damn sure you know what you are getting into and know something about that man before those words cross your tounge because once they exit even the good lord that your holy soul walk's side by side with can't help you at that point........... D & C

Rachael Scott said...

yeah...what he said!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Valerie said...

Hi girly...You vent away! I am here if you wanna chat =)